The Funny Side to Australian Toilets
Posted: November 14, 2011 Filed under: humor | Tags: Aussie, Australia, comedy, funny, holiday, humor, humour, laugh, life, postaday2011, postaweek2011, Toilet 19 Comments »Toilets in the Australian outback are a unique experience. I avoid them.
But after holding on for a day and a half, I was in pain. I braved the ‘Aussie Dunny’.
After instantly fainting from the smell and involuntarily gagging, I spotted the sign that everyone else previously disregarded.
Yeah. The toilets didn’t flush and no… no one poured that bucket of water in to rid the toilet of ..the .. erm ‘stuff’.
Clearly people can’t read or more likely, and in true Aussie style, just couldn’t be bothered. This was no longer a toilet but an open sewer.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
I shall invent my own sanitary, nice smelling toilet. I’m not a plumber and I don’t have clue what I’m doing, but what I lack in skills and education I make up for in ingenuity.
Ta Da! This delightful, modern Australian outdoor toilet with 360 degree view is a winner.
And check out this up-market baby: this is the deluxe bush toilet… it comes with snacks.
Other campers soon found out about my modern toilets with a view. The deluxe bush toilet wasn’t my idea. I was responding to consumer demand… the whole toilet with snacks…. is wrong on so many levels but you gotta give the customer what he wants. We’re dealing with Aussies here and we are not renown for our class and sophistication. Anyway, I was charging for my simple but delightful bush facilities and I made 40 bucks on my holiday. Could be a new business venture…
See ya Folks
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These are my own photographs. I really miss stealing images from Google. The planning, the execution of the picture heist… the rush and the satisfaction of a felony well done. Those days are behind me now, *sniffle*. No! That’s it…. next week I’m going to nick a load of pictures from Google. Me being on the right side of the copyright law and being a good citizenship is choking the life out of me. Also it’s no fun… just need to call Bugsy, Shifty and Killer and wahoo – getting the picture thieving gang back together!
Hi,
Love your photos, and oh yes your idea is a lot better than the real Aussie Dunny.
Hey magsx2 Cheers…Could be a good business idea if the writing fails to take off… I could be the proud owner of AussieDunniesRUs or ThunderBoxes With A View… or ITsToileyTime… hope it doesn’t come to that but everybody needs a plan B!
Didn’t they used to have ‘Dunny men’ back in the day? What a great job that must have been…..
Hey Alex, mopping up great plops of poo and cleaning up oceans of wee – must have been a barrel of laughs. Poor guys especially around gastro time… Errrrrgh.
Omgsh, you had be at that first pic and then I just couldn’t control the giggles. I think you know why too. The whole snacking in the loo reminds me of my child hood where my rotten, ugly stepfather used to take a packet of twisties and his smokes into the loo with him. We always hoped he would leave some twisties for us, but alas all that was left was a pile of flicked ash on the floor. I am still a weenie bit scared of him, so I hope he isn’t on your subscription list
Hey Erin, Thou has experienced these divine facilities first hand so I knew you would enjoy this blog post. Not sharing Twisties with your kiddies is a crime…. shame on him. I can’t imagine a non-twisty-sharing, smoko-in-the-toilet grumpster subscribing to my blogs – no fear, dish the dirt on the stepdad.
Always funny.
I want a 360 degree view and a snack cabinet!
Great now I want to remodel our master bath
Thanks a lot :/
Hey Zoe, If you need any ‘expert advice’ I’ll be happy to help remodel the master bath – (will a eucalyptus tree fit in your bathroom?) I’ll even throw in the snacks for free!
New follower thanks to that cantankerous Alex. Love those pics and what is it about public toilets that turn people into utter pigs. I had to go at an Aerosmith show and when I got to the toilet, it was so disgusting, I no longer had to go. My bladder dried up in horror.
Hey Melissa, Welcome aboard! And thanks to good ole Alex that Master of Mirth, love the delightful way he bags out every culture in the world.
There is definitely a regressive evolutionary process in humans when public toilets are used. The smell should be the next weapon of mass destruction, unleash that on the enemy – instant paralysis and scoop ‘em up. Hmm could be another business venture…
Is that a women’s restroom? Cuz I didn’t see a magazine rack anywhere around.
Only under extreme circumstances will I use those toilets – called “Port-A-Potty” here. And even then, if I’m not the first user of the day, I’ll just stop drinking fluids until I can get back to civilization.
Hey Snoring Dog Studio, That’s what it’s missing – a mag rack. I’m charging double now. Cheers.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cringe. You know I hated “The Castle” – your latest articles remind me somewhat of that movie!!!
Congrats on Alex writing about you!
I LOVED the Castle……opps….sorry
Hey Alex, me too. The comedy is compounded when you actually know people like the characters in the movie.
Hey Team O, The Castle is the best of Australian cringe humour. Some cringe, some kill themselves laughing. I’m with Alex on this one. ‘This is going straight to the pool room’ and ‘sponge cake’ still kills me.
Thanks for congrats – mighty chuffed myself.
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Eeew! wow! and thanks for warning me (as well as sharing)
Hey Anne, Anytime, us Aussies have to warn people of the horror of outback toilets and homicidal wildlife!